Burn

You.
Yes you.
You who confine me
In the chains of your mind.
You who cage
My spirit into
A box,
Whose bars
You believe are my freedom.
You.
Yes you.
Who haven't had to
Break walls,
Only to see them cave in again.
You.
Yes you.
Who will not shake
Under the mountain
Of judgement
When you make mistakes.
You.
Yes you. 
Who will not shake
Under the wind
Of loud whispers
Of your quiet rebellion
To assert your identity.
You.
Yes you.
Who will not shake
In seething anger
Because you let them shake you.

You.
Yes you.
You know nothing
Of reality,
Of this box,
This cage,
This hell,
That you have fantastically
Claimed to realise.
You.
Yes you
Are the wood
Of the fire
Lit to test my purity-
By those
Who have no claims to it.
You.
Yes you.
Will let me burn.
You.
Yes you.


You.
Yes you.
Who didn't hear
Sneers and jibes,
Open and discreet,
Like the red spit
Splattered on
Railway stations.
You.
Yes you.
Who haven't seen
How trains
Have crushed
The rubble beneath their
Well oiled wheels.

You.
Yes you.
You.
You who will
Never be questioned of
The validity of
Your sex,
Your sexuality,
Your purity,
Your legitimacy,
Your love,
Your beliefs,
Your humanness,
Your voice.

You.
Yes you.
You know nothing
Of consequence,
Of empathy,
This abyss,
This madness,
That you have fantastically
Claimed to realise.
You.
Yes you
Are the coal
Of the fire lit
To test my purity-
By those
Who have no claims to it.
You.
Yes you.
Will let me burn.
You.
Yes you.

So, look at me,
And watch me burn
At this pyre
For my crime
Of freedom.
Look at me,
And watch me burn.
Can you stand
The stench of my burning flesh?
Can you stand
The sight of my melting eyes?

Look at me,
And watch me dance,
As the ashes of
Your ignorance rise
And make your eyes water.
Look at me,
As the heat in my soul
Makes you
Nothing but a mirage.
Look at me
And watch me rise
From those ashes
Of the shallow
Promises of tomorrow.
Look at me
And hear me scream
Silently
With my eyes
At your betrayal.

You.
Yes you.
You won't forget me,
Because,
You,
Yes you,
You'll see me survive,
And,
You,
Yes you,
You'll find me free.

You,
Yes you.
You won't forget me,
Because,
You,
Yes you,
I will forgive you,
You?
Yes you.
For torching me.

Life after you

Through that window
From which I watched you go,
Life after you.

The light seems different now
When it streams down
Through the window.
The covers no longer
Have the shadow
Of your body.
No caresses linger anymore
In my imagination.

The wind seems different now
When a draft slips
Through the window.
I'm not used to snow-
But its another season
That will pass.
Its another season
I will learn to love.

The people seem different now
When I see them below
Through my window.
Sadder stories have been written
Of the sometimes
And the maybes
And the nevers
Of love.

The warmth seems different now
When I see my breath
Fog up the window.
Its no longer
The warmth of bodies,
Memories,
Or futures,
But of today and
And of the living.

The memories seem different now
When I feel their marks
On the window.
Each crack is now part of me
and my personality
That I no longer fear.
This cage may burn
But even the pieces where
I loved you will survive.

The mess seems different now
When I see it reflected
Through the window.
In the home that
I once knew was mine
And now I slowly redefine,
Turn it into a museum of escape
To make the body whole again.

The loneliness seems different now,
When I see it
Through my eyes in the window-
Through that window
From which I watched you go.

Life after you...

Soul

The music
In the hallways

Reverberated.

The sounds

Shook the wooden boards

Beneath the feet

Of the young,
the wise,

and the innocent.

The rest of us

Stood there 

With our eyes closed,

Waiting for the music
To travel past the soles
Of our shoes
And make us

Feel our hearts again.

Who?

Who are you?
I have seen  this face
Lurking in the curves
Of my smile.
Who are you?

Who are you?
Why am I scared
Of asking difficult questions?
Why do I not understand you
Vilify you instead?
Make effigies
That burn the mirrors
Of my disquiet
And contradictions?
Why do I want to run away?
Why do you make me scream?

Who are you?
What are you doing here?
In my school,
In my streets,
In my buses and books,
In my messages,
And my phone,
In my room,
On my wall,
In my bed,
In my dreams,
In my eyes...
Talk to me.

Talk to me.
Don't insult my intelligence,
Don't insult our past,
By looking the other way
And letting my cries
Fall into the abyss.
Don't insult us both
By walking away
With a snigger on your face.
Look at me.
Look at me and
Talk.

Who are you?
Are there two different Earths
Or two independent Moons
Or two separate Suns
Or two different periodic tables-
That make us
Eat, drink, breathe-
Survive?
The scientists,
They told me,
I swear, they told me,
The dirt on your hands
Is the same as mine.
Did your god tell you differently-
Because I thought I heard you yell,
"Who are you?"

Who are you?
Tell me.
Talk to me.
So I can hold you.
So you can hold me.
So we can hold on.
Because I am shaking too.
Shaking from pain
From anger
From confusion
From fear.
I too am drenched
In loss and
The spit
Of water, fire and blood.
Your fire, my blood
My fire, your blood.
Look at me.
Touch me.
Feel me.
There are parts of me
Which are real
That are made of the same earth.
I see the likeness in those eyes.
Look at me.
Talk to me.
Hear me.
Feel me.

Who are you?
The skin is burning
As our faces melt
Into the unrecognisable plastic
That we created.
As the mirrors that we burn
Blacken the windows of light-
The clock is ticking
Like a time bomb.
Look at me.
Let this not be the last time.

Who are you?
Who am I?
Where are we?
Who are we?
Talk to me.

Looking for Answers

Looking for Answers
Between the pages.
I should have written neater notes
And paid attention
When they were telling us.
All I can see
In place of charts and graphs
Are scribbles of
Words and stick figures,
Giants and dragons,
And other fantasies of
Terrible adventure
That we all want to be heroes of.

And now when the time has come
To look for answers,
That I know they told us,
I'm left with a notebook
With pen stains and blots on paper
That I can't take back.
And now when the time has come
To look for answers,
About the vastness of the world
And the smallness of us all
I'm left with my heroes
That win over demons
Only in my head.
And now that the time has come
To find the answers,
To know my place
To find my way safely,
I'm left with
Nothing but paper
That could barely burn
To glow
Or warm
And last.