Falling into place

And so it fell apart,

The song, the words, the essence.

It blew away with the wind,

To sometime

To someplace,

That we will never reach.

And so it fell apart,

Like a castle, or tunnel, or mountain.

It washed away with the sea,

Dissolving

In some infinity,

That we will never understand.

And so it fell apart,

The world and bits of our hearts.

They crumbled to the earth,

Falling,

So slowly,

That we will never catch them.

And so it fell apart,

Like the petals of a dry flower.

It crushed into coloured dust,

Settling,

Into a form,

That we will never find. 

And so it fell apart,

The story and its meaning,

It disintegrated in the soil,

Washed

And bare-

What we will never see. 

And so it fell apart,

Like a memory or an ancient relic.

Its edges diffused in space,

Disappearing,

To some universe,

That we were no longer part of.

Spinning

As I sit before you,
Slicing my heart
For you to see inside it-
I spin a web of lies
Over the hole of truth.

When we spun round
In circles and squiggles,
Down on the grass hill.
We danced with the blur
That we knew would end.

I saw a cave of bats,
Sleeping in the day,
Circling out in the night,
Preying and mating.

We played musical chairs.
There were many bad songs,
And only one winner.

The clock's hands were never so out of reach.

I rowed the boat with calluses,
In the middle of the river,
As I stood up- it turned over.

We played that song
Looped infinitely in our head
Till we could feel nothing else
Till we wouldn't forget.

In a the distance the seven ages,
Gurgling, Smirking and Happy,
Crying, Bickering and Sad
Between themselves,
Didn't know I was watching.

We should have gone home,
When our hearts ached and heads spun.
As we drank to get sucked in the storm,
We knew we would fall head first
Into the hole we had uncovered.

Black Red and Empty

Clear Water 
From plastic bottles,
Wrapped in plastic sheets,
Written on with white plastic paint,
By plastic keyboards.

Black River,
From plastic cities,
Wrapped in plastic sheets,
Written on with black plastic paint,
By plastic condolences.

Clear Water,
To sanitized hands,
Washed of blood and remorse.
Protector of dirt, disease and fear,
Through transparent righteousness.

Red River,
To folded hands,
Bathed during the crossfire
Of bright Saffron, Green, Gold and Blue
Through murky anonymity.

Clear Water
That promised to flow
From sky to trees to earth
Swirled into
Its black hole.

Empty River,
That stood still,
With bones, fossils and mud
Never before
So completely clear.

Where They Took Us

They let the sun glimmer
Through the black metal grills
That made dancing elongated figures
On the yellowed marble floor.
The cuts and grazes on the walls,
Deepened and softened
With the shadows that spilt over
On that warm afternoon.

We slept on the beds and balconies
Cuddled in sweaters and blankets,
Absorbing the caresses of warmth
From the sun, cloth and each other.

We shared dreams as we slept,
Entwined in cushions and carpets,
Immersing into distant lands
With shared hearts and armor.

We wrote stories as we slept,
Knitted in music and sound,
Taking in our last moments
Of serenity and adventure.

As I woke into a home,
In that fading balmy sunlight,
The shadows stretched into their sleep,
Curled on the yellow marble floor.
I knew not
Of cuts and bruises we had faced
In distant lands that we had chased,
I knew only
Of cooled floors and sounds and feathers
And the warmth that bound us together. 

Dreams and Dust

Winter came again,

The warm clothes crept out

One by one stacked
Waiting to take the place

Of their summer counter parts.

The razais and kambals (quilts)

Out from their hibernation,

Slithered from one bed to another,

The takhat,

The couch, 

The chair, the balcony, the window sill. 

The sun streamed through the glass,
Ever so lightly,
Illuminating the dust.
Each particle,
Spiraling slowly upward,
In the beams that fell,
Ever so lightly,
In the dusty old gadda.

Warm dreams,
Bright in colour,
Waiting for the world
To change,
Five minutes,
ten minutes,
Hours.

When it did,

Those bright dreams turned dark,

And day turned evening.

The sun beams turned the dust

Orange,

And then invisible.

The sky was pale dark blue,

And somewhere

People could see the moon.

When the jolt came,

Time had slipped,

The world was cold.

No use

Holding the blanket tightly,

Closing those scared tired eyes,

Trying to bring what was,

In those dreams,

In that lost time. 

So as darkness fell,

Ever so lightly,

The blanket like a cloak

Was draped over shoulders,

To keep some of the warmth left.

It was time to leave.

Too late for goodbyes.

As memory slipped through the cracks

And settled as dust,

The cloak folded,

On the abandoned couch,

Absorbing

Ever so lightly,

Lost dreams and dust.

Traffic Lights

As I turned for my bag to leave,

I felt silly:

All this time,
All I had to do was look up,

And see.

In every two minutes,

There was a car that whizzed by,

A different story to tell.

A young married couple,

The husband driving,

With spurts of angry bursts about

Something in office 

Or something in the family-

Something about himself.

The wife was playing with her fingers,

Nodding absently, 

Her eyes were lost ahead-

Though she had paid attention

To the details of her dress for him.

Another bus filled with people,

All compressed but had found equilibrium.

All faces and hands hanged.

Then someone said something loudly,

A few men laughed,

Someone shouted something else,

It must have been witter,

More men laughed loudly-

Even the bus driver.

It became a habit.

Yet monotony had broken.

Everyone was saying something in their heads now-

Though everyone understood the power of anonymity.

Though everyone knew it wouldn't last long,
Those men who'd never meet again,
Would not forget.

A mother driving and smoking in the traffic jam

A teenage daughter in the front seat.

Both very tired.

The daughter met my eye,

Was she judging me, because she thought 

I was judging her, by judging her mother?

Was she uncomfortable? Was she anxious?

Was she angry?

Her mother's window was almost closed,

Her window was fully open.

It wasn't cold,

But with her last look (straight at me),

As if to shut up me up,

She rolled up the transparent window.

A man with spectacles 

In the driver's seat.

If there wasn't only one man 

In a suit and mobile phone 

Back in the passenger seat,

I'd never have known 

He was a driver. 

A girl staring at the vehicles that passed by,

Maybe the passengers in it,

And simply smiling to herself,

Stupidly.

A family huddled in an auto,

All decked up,

With lots of jewelry and bright dresses,

Which in some circles would be

Called cheap.

It must have been a wedding.

Even the child,

Looked at the meter beat.

A man talking to himself in his motorcycle,

Was actually smiling into his mobile phone,
Either fastened inside his helmet,
Or attached to his head phones.  

A woman in the bus closed her eyes 

As the wind blew on her face,

Triumphant to have found a seat

In a crammed bus.

As I turned for my bag to leave,

I knew I had for the first time,

Felt people,

As people.

Not as 

Names or

Faces or
Numbers.

And in that raw moment

All I could do was smile.

Pleasant Company

Wandered into the moonlight

With a silver lining down my back,

Let time slip by

That left a trail inside the cracks.

Took a sip of sultry weather

With Night's silent mistress,

Distracted by the stars

Studded on her fortress.

The clinking of the leaves

With fresh water on their lips,

Winked back at my warm host 

Still tapping his finger tips.

I swayed to his music,

And with his gusty right hand man

Sang a song of harmony,

As we danced with dangerous elan.

The lady dressed in Summer

Was playful crazy thing,

Twisting me to the mercy

Of the mosquitoes' maddening sting.

Bugs rapturously croaked

Lessons of love and tyrants.

I engrossed and taking mental notes

As Mother listened amused and silent.

Mistress' guards, unguarded

Roared in thrilling laughter,

As her brilliant spectical poured

Heaven's intoxicating nectar.

Silence... bliss...

Water... Earth...

Humming... Roaring...

Song of death, of birth

I drank to our health

Then lay under the fading sky,

And as the moon set sadly

I said my last goodbye.

Wander in the moonlight

With a silver lining down your back

Let time slip by

And leave its trail inside the cracks.

Reflections

While searching in the abyss

Of everyday

I find easy distractions.

Puddles, chappals, Mitti

Brown earth and skin

In a haphazard holy union

In the city grime and promise.

Malai, bread, sugar

Soggy between the fingers.

A minor blemish of

self created perfection.

Rain, sleep, dreams

A peace or surrendering

To the call of another world

Fantastic and Forgettable.

Chatting, buzzing, images

Whirling in technicolour

Films, episodes, gossip

For a perfect story 

Complete satiation.

While searching, blind, in the chasm

Of everyday

I close my eyes

And wake

Sometimes screaming, sometimes in fatigue

Sometimes in pure curiosity.

Down, Down, Down, Down, Down, Down, Down

In squiggles

In slow motion

In solitude

Without sight

Indefinitely suspended

with my tea cups, spoons,

demons, chappals and remote controls.

अकेला

आकेला हूँ मैं 

भटकता हूँ अपने  खुद की तलाश में।

अनेक हैं फिर भी 

मेरी ही तरह।

डरता हूँ मैं 

कहीं कल मेरे साधारणपन को कोई 

दूंढ निकालेगा ।

डरता हूँ मैं और भी 

की वह शख्स 

मैं ही  हूँगा।

कानों में जब 

सन्नाटे की आवाज़ भर जाती है 

तो मैं आखों को मीच लेता हू

हारा नहीं हूँ मैं 

सिर्फ़ भागने से  

थक गया  हूँ। 

सच! 

मैरे ज़िन्दगी में 

न छल कपट

न झूठ, न तोड़े वादे,

न अत्याचार, न हिंसा-

जब उसकी आवश्यकता नहीं थी।

तो क्यूँ ये धुंधलापन 

कानों में जब 

सन्नाटे की आवाज़ भर जाती है 

तो मैं आखों को मीच लेता हूँ। 

डर नहीं मंज़िल से भटक जाने का 

डर है भीड़ से 

और भीड़ में ख़जाने का।

Haven

Let the wind blow, my dear

Let it bring the rain

Let it carry my heart to you

Washed of dust and stains

Let the night be dark my dear

But don't let the stars go dry

It will be our secret here

Under the sheets of the black sky

Let the leaves whisper, my dear

Let them be all I hear

Let them carry my song to you

Before they disappear

Let the soil sink deep, my dear

Let it sink under my feet

Let our story be known for years

Let it grow in the heat

Let the river flow, my dear

Let it quench the desire 

Let it carry my soul to you

In the ashes of the pyre

Let me love

Let me love

Let me love, my dear

Let it stay

In this way

For this day, my dear

Let me dissolve

Let me dissolve

Let me dissolve, my dear

Into the night

Into the light

It will be alright, my dear